Interestingly enough, I’m brought here…tonight…on this June 21, 2017, at 11:30 pm and I noticed that my very first post was June 21, 2016.  I said, I’m doing it!  Well, it appears in the last year, I didn’t do “it” too often.  It’s bothered me that writing is something I love so much, I have spent most of my life writing in journals and wanting to pursue helping others by being me, by sharing my story, my life and my love for others.   This hasn’t happened because I’ve allowed fear to take the driver’s seat.  Instead of writing each and every time I have wanted to, I have instead allowed fear to take away that desire.  I’ve been growing exponentially in my faith and I have also realized that I am still allowing fear to have control of several things in my life.  One being this blog.  A fear of rejection I suppose.  How many of us can honestly say that we wake up each morning “fearless?”  I like to think I do!  Actually, I know I do!  I wake up fearless…and then, my feet hit the floor and my brain processes all of the things I want to do, or even need to do and skreeeech, it all comes to a halt!  Then that inner voice, you know who that is, the inner voice that reminds you of what you should be fearing, what you aren’t capable of or what you should be holding back from?  Yup….that’s the enemy!  Hard at work in my life to try and keep me from making a difference in people’s lives.  I ask myself…why Jeanette…why do you let yourself fear anything?  My faith is to be stronger than my fear!  I know we are all fearful of some things.  I accept that, but it shouldn’t ever keep us from doing what we dream of, especially when it serves Jesus!  I had a fun conversation with my uncle tonight and he asked me, “Do you believe that God is in control of everything?”  I said, “yes, I do!”  He said, “if you do, than you will let your faith lead your dreams and not let your fear keep you from them.”  It made me think about Matthew 17:20, NIV, “He replied, Because you have so little faith.  Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”  Whoa, just trying to grasp all He has done for me!  Then to think, all he’s asking,  is that I just have a little faith, as small as a mustard seed, and BIG things can happen.  God is so good!  Big things can happen because nothing is impossible with our Lord!  I do trust in him, his plan for my life and where it’s going.  I have literally, NEVER been so happy in my life as I am this very day.  Never felt so free and myself.  Accepting and loving who I am.  I love who I am because I know who I’m working for.  I’m working for our Lord and Savior.  I truly want my life to represent him and if that’s the case….I truly need to work more at giving up my fears.  I must let go and give those fears to God.  Psalm 56:3, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  So, as I go to sleep tonight, I will pray about this journey.  The one I’m taking and will share along the way.  I know that the Lord has a plan for me.  I know he wants me to serve him in some capacity and I am just not sure yet where he’s leading me.  Maybe it’s to go back to school and get my pastoral degree, or to gain the training that I need to help in the area/s he’s calling me to.  I’m open, and I’m listening.  I’m sure he’s been pushing me, directing me….making diamonds out of dust right?  Tonight I will publish this, just as I have four other times in this last year and I will commit to sharing more and letting others know that I’m writing. God bless and good night.